On Time: To Myself

It is not wasted time if you have the time to waste to begin with. There is a thin dotted line between thinking about doing something and actually doing it, but since you have so much time to waste what keeps you from doing anything and everything? If you think that there’s no reason to do something when you have time to do anything, then how is it that you will most likely talk yourself out of doing everything? Instead of wasting time, you are now just not following through with those things that you could be doing. After coming to terms with your conscience, it dawns on you that the day has been dulled down to this cyclical pattern, that you created, where you don’t do the things you could be doing because everything else that you’re not doing is now considered “wasted time”. Then comes the guilt of turning everything into something, something into nothing, and nothing into anything that you could have done, but didn’t.

With that in the past, the future holds only the same time with different things to do, which you probably won’t do, whether you want to or not, and so begins a new day where possibilities seem endless, but time has now become useless. It does not slow down; it does not tire itself, but rather it continues droning on, cutting a new possibility of opportunity with every passing minute. And you are just standing in the middle of this time wondering what it is trying to prove by never stopping. Impossible is a word that comes to mind, but who are you to tell time that it should “give it a rest”- it being the minutes, and a rest being what time needs the most.

But then you start to question the integrity of time, when time only offers you to do something, when you only offer time to do nothing because you want some answers from time before giving in to its insatiable reputation of making people use it. Silly time, thinking it can trick you, but you are smarter than time…or is it that you become smarter over time, which would imply that you are using time--cheaply hoarding it for your own personal gain--until you don’t need it anymore; until you begin to waste it again. That, ultimately, is time’s worst folly, the fact there is so much time and yet it can be so easily thrown away. Hopefully, someday you will find the spot where wasted time is kept, and the secret will be revealed that you are allowed to use it however you wish. But before you start your search for more time, there’s something you should know…

It’s no secret-time is all you have. Use it wisely.