Response to the ignorant bystander: "Why do you bitch about your job if you like coffee so much?""

This is an excerpt from the longer three page response that I gave when asked this question...

"Coffee is a funny thing. The second most mass-produced legal narcotic, under cigarettes, that is naturally addictive and in many ways (proven by science) to be beneficial to your health. I drink anywhere between one and ten cups of coffee a day, and yes I know many of you might be thinking after reading up to this point that I should seriously consider decaf, but fuck it. I’m not here to impress anyone. Coffee is delicate (much like good wine or beer), and holds properties that are distinctive to its growing region. Its true characteristics can only be found when roasted and cupped to its potential. When a coffee isn’t given proper treatment, it won’t give you proper results. Coffee is an art, not a commodity, and with any type of art it has to be appreciated to a certain extent. The reason why I enjoy this tasty black slosh is not only because I know more than most about it, but also because it has never wronged me in any way. Both wine and beer have placed me into oblivion in some instance or another, and while I still drink both to great lengths, the happiness can only last so long. Not with coffee. Instead of bringing me down, it picks me up. Many a mornings I wake to find coffee a Savior from the effects of the alcoholic beverages consumed not hours before. Energy ensues…on top of that, it brings people together for long (or short) periods of time, whether it be a quick pick me up with a friend, to those extensive conversations with someone who either won’t shut up or you actually enjoy being around for more than twenty minutes at a time. Coffee has been a catalyst for social gatherings for many generations ("penny universities") and will continue to become more and more popular as the years go on. Why then do I hate my job so much?

Because I hate sharing such a beautiful, god given luxury with people who don’t appreciate it. Coffee is an art- an ARTisan craft- not a commodity. Never forget that.

Fuck Folgers."

2 comments:

elsa said...

great post!

i was at uncommon grounds and this man was shouting his order at a barista while talking on his cellphone. they refused to serve until he got off his phone. i really wish that was standard.
it's true that no one actually enjoys coffee, they just feel entitled to it.

Derek said...

Haha... I like the comparison with alcohol.

What if instead of going down to the bars to get loaded on Saturdays, everyone got jacked up on caffeine and played beruit or flipcup with coffee?

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